Best Spam Comment Ever

Wow, I normally wouldn't give any sort of attention to a spam comment, but this was too fantastic to pass up (posted to several of my posts as comments and removed, but good job, spammer, your post is getting immortalized here:

Vampires is not at all like in the movies or books. Sure, I understand. You are young you have the whole world open to you. You can be anything that you choose if you apply yourself and try hard to work toward that goal. But being a Vampire is not what it seems like. It’s a life full of good, and amazing things. We are as human as you are.. It’s not what you are that counts, But how you choose to be. Do you want a life full of interesting things? Do you want to have power and influence over others? To be charming and desirable? To have wealth, health, and longevity? contact the Vampires Lord on his Email: 


  1. If you do, I hope it's better than when I signed up to the Illuminati, and then just kept getting sent jewellery catalogues.

  2. They’ve been posting all over our boards

  3. I got this doozy on my blog this week: "My name is laura From united states i never know that spell caster is real, I thought they are fake until I met a man called Dr BAKABA On this day i am very happy to tell the world that Johnson is back to me thanks to Dr. BAKABA who use is great powers to cast a spell that brought Johnson back to me within 3days. I really want to tell the world that Dr. BAKABA is genius and powerful this means that is capable to restore any broken relationship or marriage just within the period of 3days. And due to the fact that Dr. BAKABA is very helpful and must people will need is help to restore there relationship or marriage i will write out the contact via email: or you call him, DOCTOR BAKABA CAN AS WELL HELP THE FOLLOWING PROBLEMS 1. HIV/AIDS CURE 2. HERPES CURE 3. CANCER CURE 4. PREGNANCY SPELL get all your problems solve. No problem is too big for him to solve.. Contact him now for any kind of help"

    1. That IS an awesome doozy! Sounds like "laura from united states" is now a very happy happy woman: "Dr. BAKABA who use[d his] great powers to cast a spell that brought JOHNSON back to me within 3days."

      Thanks to my sieve-like memory, I forget who did this, but somebody about a month ago did a clever make-lemonade-out-of-spam-comments D&D-able table on their blog. This is gold like comedian James Veitch vs. spammers (TED talks and YouTube videos worth seeking out - they eventually email him: "Please stop emailing me" - he got a standing ovation from the TED talk crowd for that)

  4. The Vampire that reassures us he is "from Canada" is better than this one, though!

  5. I've talked about this a little bit, but I think you'll be surprised by what you find if you search "The four colors of white, blue, red, and black are reflected, and the edgeless, sharp, endless fierce sword". A weird assortment of advertisements, supposedly for penis pills, but actually some kind of neural-net generated wuxia stories. Tangentially related I suppose.

  6. Wow, even the vampires are avoiding Yahoo mail these days!